1. Read about the purpose of this online women's Bible study and how it works by clicking HERE.
2. To easily access all posts in this series, go HERE. You may want to bookmark this page. Or if you are starting at my blog's home page, simply click on the "Bible Study" button at the top of the page.
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1. Visit the So Long, Insecurity website to learn more about the study and see how other women are overcoming their insecurities.
2. Use sites like Bible Gateway and Biblos to compare various Bible translations and meanings from the original texts.
3. Join me in memorizing our weekly Bible verses! I absolutely love using Scripture Typer for memorization. I'm a visual & kinesthetic learner (need to see it and do it) so this is the perfect tool to imprint Scripture on my heart...and fast!
If you are following along in the print materials, this week's post and discussion questions are based on:
Chapter 2: Insecure Enough to Matter
Chapter 3: She Doesn't Look a Certain Way
Week Two - How Insecurity Affects Us
I really appreciate the discussions that are starting up on the blog posts! Thank you for sharing your insight and even personal stories. The journey to security may be slightly different for everyone, but we can still encourage each other along the way. Please feel free to jump into the discussions at any time!
This week we are digging in to how insecurity really affects us. It is important to understand exactly what insecurity looks like in our own lives and how deep it is rooted, so we can effectively pull it out.
First, I wanted to share a nugget found at the beginning of Chapter 2:
"Scripture claims that believers in Christ are enormously gifted people. Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts...are largely unproductive or, at the very least, tentative?"
Tuck that away and carry it with you as we unpack some more insight on insecurity. I believe it's helpful to keep in mind while assessing your own insecurities.
Now, let's try to put a face to this beast... ready?
In the book, we are given this description:
"Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt - a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man nor woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate." (Chapter 2, pg 17)
Read over that description a couple times if you have to, and try to identify the different elements of insecurity. Can you relate to any? Which feelings do you experience?
When gauging our own insecurity, we can measure it by two variables:
How intense are the feelings (of self-doubt, anxiety, fear)?
How often do we experience them? (Is it chronic?)
There is a difference between having a few "off" days and being consistently insecure. There is also a difference between being sensitive (compassionate or discerning) and being intensely crippled by self-doubt or fear. If what we are experiencing is constant and deeply emotional, we are more likely to see insecurity wreak havoc on our lives. Everything from our health, to relationships, to our ability to serve God will suffer.
So let's think about when these feelings might manifest...
- Perhaps it is the fear of trying new things or meeting new people.
- Maybe you place undue pressure on your relationships with high expectations to fulfill your needs.
- Or maybe you feel you aren't worthy/capable of your job position.
- Does it crush you when you find out someone doesn't like you? Or disagrees with you?
- Perhaps you aren't sure if you are truly loved (or respected) by those around you.
- Or is insecurity masked by perfectionism, careful planning, and your ability to make certain that nothing can or will go wrong?
Which is why it is so important to be careful not to judge others in this process of evaluating insecurity. It is tempting to look at someone else's life and think, "THAT is security." Maybe it's a pretty a face, a great wardrobe, their air of confidence that fills the room, their perfect system for approaching life.
Beth refers to these as "false positives". The things people have going for them that seem to establish their security. The things we are quick to point out to them, to remind them of how great they have it. The things we wish we had.
We've all heard (given or received) these types of comments when it's hard to believe that person has an iota of insecurity:
"...but you have everything you could wish for."
"Everyone likes you!"
"Oh, you have such a loving and supportive husband."
"You ALWAYS look good!"
"Look how everyone looks up to you."
"You know they couldn't do this without you."
How many times do these comments pop out....out of a craving for what they have?
The truth is, we will never find security in false positives. Even the woman who "has it all" may be struggling with insecurity just as much as you are. The problem is not about the things they have that we lack.
As Beth Moore puts it: "An injured soul is the problem." We have to be willing to go beyond the surface.
"That beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17)." (Chapter 3, pg 43)God's word shows us that when our security is rooted in Him, we reflect His beauty, His ability, His power, His purpose. Yes we fall short on our own, but in Him all things are possible!
I encourage you to spend some time in the verses below and let the Holy Spirit minister to you about who you are to God. If you have trouble accepting these truths for yourself, ask God to increase your faith in His desires for you. Healing from insecurity begins here!
Memorize: Ephesians 2:10
Reflect: 2 Corinthians 4:7
1 Peter 2:9-10
This week is getting even more personal, so I understand if you do not want to share! However, if you feel your experience is one that can help others, please consider sharing anonymously. As before, you are welcome to answer just one, or all questions!
1. Can you identify your own false positive - the one thing that would make you "secure"?
2. Have you experienced insecurity in a way that affected your relationships? Have you set up unrealistic expectations have caused your relationships to suffer?
3. Go back to the first quote from Chapter 2 and think about this question: "Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts are unproductive or, at the very least, tentative?" Share a specific time in your past when insecurity kept you from using your gifts or doing something you knew you should do...and if you have been able to overcome that obstacle, share your victory with us too!
4. God gives us an encouraging and empowering perspective of ourselves. Read Ephesians 2:10, 2 Corinthians 4:7, 1 Peter 2:9-10. What do these verses mean to you in the context of our discussion on security and how God views us?